I Deserve Better

I thought your friends were supposed to be a source of support and good times! I wish I could say the same about one of mine! For the last few months all she has done is create more stress and annoyance in my life! I think it's BS! I have been trying to take the little things with a grain of salt and just "get over it". But each time I do, I find out something else and it is seeming less and less worth the effort or the issues!

I try to be supportive and help and be there where I can. But since everything seems to be a competition in her eyes I am just wasted! I am done! This is not what I need or want in a friendship. My goal in life is to take care of my family and be there for my friends. Not to compete or one up people. I guess at the end of the day our goals and outlook on life are different and I just cannot budge where these things are concerned. If all she wants is to make me "jealous", then find a new friend and try to out do them. I do not have the time nor patience for this type of relationship! I expected it from her DH but am plain hurt this is coming from her! And I won't even go into how embarrassed I am! Sigh!

I Got An Award!!

I am actually a little blushed because it all!! I know people visit my blog and some occasionally even comment, but never did I imagine someone would think it was worthy of an award!! Kim of The Little Things is so sweet and is the one who gave me this awesome honor!!

By being the recipient of this award there are a few rules I must follow. They go a little something like this:

Rule #1: Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.
Rule #2: Show the 7 winners' names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with the "Honest Scrap" award.
Rule #3: List at least ten honest things about yourself.

And the winners are.......(drum roll)........

The Bayou Belles and their Beau

Unlikely Oilfield Wife

Barleycorn Family

My Girl

Mrtland

So I Started a Group

Bakerella


Okay, that was the easy part! Now for the last task! 10 Honest Things About ME! I will try!

1. I am an all or nothing person! If I do something I do it all the way and do it right! If I love someone I love them with all of myself! You will never get half effort or half a friendship or half of my love and attention!
2. I am very family oriented! It hurts me when families fight or people cannot just be together and love each other! Without family we wouldn't be who we are! I have always lived away from part of my family. Since I was a little girl all I've ever wanted was for all of my family to be in the same state! Not spread between 3!
3. I LOVE to dance! I wish I had done something about it when I was younger! At 30 it seems silly to take classes and want to dance all the time! But I do love it and it brings me so much happiness!
4. I am addicted to shopping! I love to browse and buy! When I am down, shopping will make me forget all and feel better! Buying things for Regan and Bub makes me really happy! Actually more so than buying for myself!!
5. I am an animal lover to the bone! I think life would be a lot less enjoyable without having critters around. We have 2 cats and 1 dog. The bring a lot of life to our home!!
6. I have always wanted to be a mom! Always! And I always knew I wanted to stay home and raise them! Being hands on and experiencing everything is what I dreamt of doing. I was blessed with a great husband who made this wish come true for me! I will forever be grateful for that too!
7. I organize a playgroup. Have done so for over 4 years. Funny thing is I think I was made to organize and bring people together! It has been a great experience and I have met so many wonderful people!
   
8. I am a very competitive person! Playing cards, dominoes, any kind of games brings out a different side of me! I love to think and strategizing! Regan has become a lover of games as well so we do family night games almost every night! It rocks!
9. I love music! All types! Most people are surprised at the amount of different songs I know! Too bad I don't have a singing voice like half of my family!
   
10. I really enjoy blogging! It has been a great addition to my life! It allows me to keep our families in Oregon and Texas and even around Louisiana up to date on the craziness we call life! I love seeing that people have visited and read!

Well, I hope that wasn't too boring! lol I am not the most interesting person in the world and it seems so silly to write random things about myself! lol

Our "Extra" Yard ~ LOVE IT!

So our new house sits on an interesting lot! It is approximately 60x180. Plenty of yard, but definitely not quite as big as our Jeanerette house which sits on a 160x180 lot. But there has been a treat involved with our choice of lots!

There is a Coulee (a small stream, bayou or canal) that runs behind our house. On the other side of the Coulee is a field and a pond of sorts. Well, the land our subdivision sits on was an old sugarcane field. The contractors had to build up the land about 4 feet before building. Well, where our property line ends, there is a drop off which is where to original land sat. And beyond that there is about another 20 feet until you get to the Coulee. This land is basically ours, but couldn't be listed as part of the property because of the water way.

Well, like some of our neighbors, we have decided to take advantage of this additional land. And who wouldn't want a backyard with a view of nature! I have woken up many mornings, gone into the kitchen to open our roman shades and watched an egret walking along or sitting in one of our trees! I absolutely love it! We also have an Oak tree, which we are lucky to have and hopefully Regan's tree swing will be hanging from it soon! I know she has missed it!

Well, back to the story. So in December we paid the boy down the street to clear the area for us. He chopped down all the vines and trees. He never actually finished, so the other day Bub and I got on it!


Doesn't it look nice?? This was covered in trees and wood and all kinds of stuff! You can actually see the ground now! The plan is to put up a 6 foot fence on the left and right sides of the yard. And across the back, before the drop into the additional land, we will put a 4 foot fence with a gate. That way we can still see our "nature" and can have a privacy fence up! Speaking of nature, did I mention too that the sun sets just behind those trees?? Every evening we are greeted with the most beautiful colors stretched across the sky!! I will have to take a few pictures one day and share!

This is the view from our house
You can see Bub on the lower part by the Coulee

Working hard

Burning the trees and twigs!

Well we are almost done with our little project, at least for now! I hope to put a comfy bench or chair down there so I can enjoy the quietness of our yard!!

The Edible Bowl

There is a very limited number of things I miss about Oregon. Very limited! Actually, since the list is so short I can share......

1. My Family and a certain few friends
2. Having a real beach within an hour or so away
3. Experiencing 4 actual season each year
   
4. Chowder Bowls

The point of this blog is the latter. Behold the Chowder Bowl!



I have missed being able to find these anywhere. Strange desire too, since I have only had these a few times in my life. They go hand in hand with going to the beach in the winter, which happened to be when we went most of the time.

So I saw these boules the other day and couldn't resist an attempt to recreate something I miss. Did it work? No! It didn't taste bad and Bub really enjoyed it. I think it is equally about the memories and the atmosphere as it is about the actual food! I guess it was worth a shot! And in the least I took care of my craving for a while I am sure!!

..................now if I can just find a good French Dip Sandwich!!!

A New Commander in Chief!

Well, today our new president takes his place at the podium and as the ruler of our great nation!

I unfortunately did not vote this year. Though registered, I was in the process of moving into our new house and just couldn't take the time to stand in lines. Had I have voted, I would have cast it in favor of Obama. Now, living her in Southern Louisiana I found that I am among the minority with my choice of people. But, everyone has their own reasons for who they choose and I am no different!

First I want to say that not only am I happy that Obama won because I truly believe he can be a great help in fixing our country, but I also can't help but feel warm inside that our nation has finally stepped away from the premise that women and "colored" people would never run our country! HA! Okay, that was slightly immature, but since the election I have been thrilled that in my lifetime I was able to bear witness to something like this!

I am not watching the inauguration today. I have never watched the previous ones and really don't have any interest to watch it today! History has been made and watching a big "party" or not doesn't change that! I will have 4 years to see Obama on TV.

I hope he bring us all to where we need to be and lives up to the expectations we have!

God Bless America!!

Random Thoughts for the Day!

If I worked at a butcher's or a meat packing place, would I be a vegetarian?

Why do women have all the "things"? ie: periods, cramps, sore boobs, have to shave everything, get pregnant only to gain weight, get stretch marks, saggy boobs, labor pains, lactating, postpartum depression, then there is always breast cancer and menopause. Someone please tell me what men deal with???

What makes cat people love cats and dog people love dogs? And those in between love everything else?

I think a house without plants just doesn't make sense! It changes the whole vibe of a house I think!

Isn't it weird that when you are 12 or so, being 18 seems like an eternity away. But when you are 18 it really came pretty quick and you don't remember what the big damn deal was!

Why is it so easy for some people to have 3 and 4 or more kids, while people like me are scared to have number 2? Hmmmm.

Why do some people have the opportunity to grow old with their mate or watch your kids grow old and others lose them early? How do you get picked to be the lucky ones to have your family for always?

I know I sound like a child, but why do things have to change? Why do people have to grow old and die?

Why do we never realize when we are in the moment that it will be a cherished one so we can take advantage of it! We always realize later how special it was then hope we relished it enough for the memory to carry us through the years!

It amazes how quickly things can change! From people to emotions to life! Just amazing!

Is it possible to be friends with people who's lifestyle and choices are conflicting with your beliefs?

Where are all the good movies at?? I can't remember the last time an AMAZING movie came out! Especially an amazing horror flick! I am totally jones-ing for a great scary movie!

Blogging is a Release!

I was doubtful sleep would come easy last night because of the raging load up crap that is filling my head! You know the stuff that nags at you when it's quiet and you are cleaning and before you know it you're mad, depressed or crying?! Getting to sleep some nights, no matter how tired I am just really has become hard! Normally after laying in bed for a few hours I will get up and take a half a dose of Nyquil. This usually helps! But I dislike doing it. Thankfully Bub is home when I do so he can take care of Regan.

Anyways, yesterday was a whirlwind of emotions for me starting with it being the anniversary of the day they pulled my Mamaw off life support. All of my family and I agree that it just doesn't seem like it has been a whole year! I guess that proves exactly how long wounds stay open and how the pain just really does not subside! (to know the story go to January 2008)

Maybe I have a lot of guilt still since I was supposed to stop by the day before she had her heart attack and called and said, I will just come on Monday like I usually do! Maybe I still cannot face that I, for some reason passed up the chance, even though I was unaware to see her and talk to her one last time! It sucks! And it hurts! And it eats me up inside! On top of that dealing with death is something I am an amateur at. My Mamaw's funeral was the first real funeral and real major death close to me in my entire life. The two days at the hospital and the two day long funeral was really more than I could handle! And to be honest, yesterday was the year anniversary of her death and I still have yet to visit the Moselium. I kept saying I wasn't ready. And there were quite a few days that I fully intended to go on my way home from New Iberia and some how talking myself out of it each time! I guess I don't see going to see where she "lays" will really bring me any comfort at all. She is gone. When I stand at those places my miond goes visual and all I SEE is dead people laying in coffins inside of this wall. Seeing Mamaw laying there sucked! She looked like she was sleeping! It seemed far easier for me when Mamaw Rose passed and I just knew she was gone and there was no viewing and she was creamated and we had a service to bury the urn. I was more easily able to accept it for what it was. At the funeral I found myself - the WHOLE time honest to God waiting for her to sit up and be like "what the hell are yall doing?!" It was torture!

I hope to soon come to terms with my own guilt, and find a way to go to her and hope it brings me peace! I guess though, it is hard to find peace when all things have fallen apart since her death! I am a firm believer in the fact that all things happen for a reason. This one, even after a year still has me stumped! Our family has been torn apart and I doubt it will ever be mended! A lot of people are hurt and I don't see it ending soon or ending well. What would be the real reason for this?? Sigh.

Well, the moral to this blog is that I truly think that blogging is a great release! I think that even if you are feeling something for one day, writing it down really does relieve all the stress and anguish! Sometimes I let all the little things weigh me down and interrupt my daily life. I am working on it and I think blogging will definitely be a source in which I come to peace with a lot of the demons in my head......or all around me! LOL