Sunday, December 27, 2009

The Holidays - Good Riddence!

I have always been a lover of the Holidays.......that is until the last few years!

To me the Holidays are a time for Family and Friends and Charity and Togetherness, and these past few years it has lost all the magic for me! I assume it has all gone downhill since my Mamaw died! Once we moved here the only real Family time we all had revolved around the Holidays. And since I am all about family, I looked forward to these together times! Since Mamaw passed, what little bit of family we had, was torn into two. Now our Holiday celebrations seem to be just a passing. We do see each other, but it's not the same! Nothing has ever been the same!

In Oregon, once Bub and I bought our house we made the Holidays what they were! We did Thanksgiving and Christmas every year and we brought our families together (I think). It was an all day thing. Lots of food and togetherness. We talked and played games and just spent the day enjoying each other! I miss this! I miss this SO much!

Every year starting in October I look forward to Christmas coming. But the past few year the anticipation soon disappears as it gets closer. I guess part of what makes Christmas has been missing! Last year to start a new tradition Bub and I took Regan and we went to St Joseph's Diner, which is like a soup kitchen. We went Christmas morning and served a Christmas Lunch to families who normally do without. It was a great experience. We all enjoyed our time there and planned to make it a yearly tradition! Later that afternoon we went to see a family movie!

This year we intended to do the same thing. Only this year between how I had been feeling and the fact that Regan kept Bub up all night, we were unable to make it! I was very disappointed! But we tried! I would say there is always next year, but unless we have family in town for Christmas, we won't be able to do this for another 4 or so years! But when we can, we will start again!

Anyways! Our Holiday was good though, because we were together! We didn't expect to have Bub home, so I was very grateful it had worked out in our favor! The holidays are definitely not the same without Daddy!!

So below is a few pictures of our Christmas.........


Christmas Eve at the Pellerin's


Christmas Morning












I am truly grateful for so many things this year! We have been so very blessed! I hate that I have such a sour feeling about the Holidays, but maybe next year things will change! At least I have a whole year before we have to do it all over again! LOL


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Sunday, December 13, 2009

Thanks!!


People can be so uplifting even when they don't realize!!

I wish people knew how amazing there are. Even when they don't realize it!!

I have had a lot on my mind recently. Lots of stress and fear of the unknown. And too, we are still dealing with this rent house and it needs more repairs before we can get it inspected and sold. More stress, more money out the door..........I don't know how much more I can take!

Anyways, I have been in a worried little funk and encouraging words of these ladies have been a great source of encouragement. And it really came when I was feeling like I was in a hole and a little alone.

I have been so emotionally and physically drained and with a long to do list and a husband who has just returned out to work.......I needed something! :o) So thank you! Thank you for your kind words and encouragement and your prayers! And thank you for giving that to me, even though I am certain you (nor I) realized it is what I needed.


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Thursday, December 10, 2009

Not Much to Report

Hmmmm, I truly have nothing today to write about! Sucks! Been feeling crappy lately, got a lot of stuff on my plate and have been feeling pretty overwhelmed about some stuff! Sigh!

The holidays seem to be way more hectic this year than in previous years! I can only assume it's because Regan is now is school, she started doing tumbling and Girl Scouts this year so that has added to extra "stuff" to do and places to be.

My house hasn't been "my kinda clean" since my little party here a few weeks ago! And it is driving me insane!

Looks like Bub will be leaving late tonight to head back to work. I was worried this would happen. Since it's so close to Christmas, he probably would go out and be gone for Christmas. They are saying they will shut down the Wednesday before......I really hope they mean it! We have something special to celebrate this Christmas and I want him with us! And also, going to the Diner won't be as fun or as productive if he is gone!

Here's hoping ALL of our Christmas wishes come true! :o)


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Monday, December 7, 2009

Disclosure!!



I think I may need to start putting disclosures on my entries.

Please keep in mind that this blog's purpose is for me to express feelings, frustrations, emotions, talk about my family and things that happen to me. It is my own personal diary that I share with those who care to read it!

RARELY is anything ever intended to be malicious or to hurt people!

I have strong opinions and feel very passionately about a lot of things!

This is what I use my blog for! To get these thoughts and feelings out.

I don't shove them down anyone's throat, as they are here for others to read IF they choose to!

This blog has actually been a great resource for me. Starting with the death of my Mamaw a few years ago. Being able to write my feelings and experiences down helped SO much. It was probably the best coping tool for me. More recently it helped me to make peace with a few things that had been bothering me.

I swear getting things down into words really helps me cope and/or "get the demons out".

As with the title of my blog I'm "Just Being Me". So if ever you feel offended by my writings, just take it with a bit of humor and a grain of salt! It's half for my release and the other half for a little comical asshole idiocracy!

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