Sometimes I think people don't understand that being an oilfield husband/wife/child/family is hard! There is a LOT of sacrifice involved and a lot of times big milestones or times when your family needs you, you're not together.
Granted, the money is good...okay, great, if you work for the right company in the right position. If you are lucky you have a set schedule and you can plan a year in advance if you'll be off for holidays or how to schedule a birthday party. On the downside you cannot always be home for those dance recitals or Christmas Programs. But where there is some give, there is some take.
One bonus is always having a paid vacation, because you just take them during your scheduled week(s) off. Then you save the time off they give you and take a month or two off when you need to!
Another thing that the oilfield gives us, and most families is an opportunity for the mom to stay home with her children. I have had the privilege of spending every day with Regan since the day she was born. Unfortunately Bub doesn't get to see her as often as I, but that is a sacrifice he makes so that our daughter can have the attention we've been able to give her. And thankfully this is the same attention our newest arrival will get, all because Bub works how he does.
On the upside, when Bub is home, he gets to see Regan from sun up to sun down for days, sometimes even weeks at a time. And with her schooling, if Bub worked 9-5, he'd only get to see her a few hours a night. I feel he makes up for lost time and then some because he is home for stretches at a time.
Why am I trying to validate the oilfield and being an oilfield family?!? Because it hurts my feelings when people make comments about Bub "not being home with his family". Like he does it to be an ass, or that I make him do it because I want him gone. Rest assured we endure a lot of sacrifice to be an oilfield family. And for us it's the best choice because it has given us an opportunity to raise our children hands on. I know how lucky I am and I know how hard he works and how much he misses out. Being judged does not feel nice! Remember the old saying......"walk a day in one's shoes". Our life may not be cut out for everyone, but it is the best life for us!
The oilfield has allowed us to build a house, and based on the circumstances of our rent house, be able to afford two mortgages, have multiple vehicles and be able to pay for all the classes and sports and other activities Regan does (not to mention my shopping!! lol). And all of this on a single income! And since I don't have to work I can volunteer in Regan's school once a week, attend all the field trips and parties and be active in her education. I also was able to do Girl Scouts for her and I am sure there will be other things as well!
I don't judge people for not being able to stay home with their children (though I wish ALL women had the option, because I know how great it is), or people who work all the time or multiple jobs. But, it is what it is. Everyone does what they need to or want to in life. The oilfield has been a blessed for us! Especially when you look back at when we first moved here!
So, lets try to be supportive and think about the sacrifices people make to better their lives and that of their children! Not every decision we make is for ourselves or to have the perfect life. But it's our perfect life!
3 comments:
You go Girl!! I soo wish people would understand this! I think I am going to quote u in my blog now :) That was VERY well put! And I LOVE being an Oilfield Wife :) :) We sacrifice but I wouldnt have it any other way! I love being here for my kids as I know u do too! Thank u for posting this! It did make me teary eyed :)
Jealousy. That's the word. For someone to say something like that, there's something going on in their own life that they are projecting onto you. Don't sweat it. Us oil field wives know the drill (oh God, this is a bad pun that I didn't even mean to make!), and we know that several days together in a row is always better than a few hours a night and a couple of days a week. As you said, the life isn't for everyone, but for us, it works!
Thanks ladies! (The Oilfield might be a Heather thing too! LOL)
I don't think it's jealousy, I think people don't think about things before they comment.
I mean, I didn't even touch on how hard it is to be a mom with no other half most of the time. I mean, Our children will be 6 years apart mostly because I was scared to be pregnant and have to do it alone with a toddler!
But I always feel that me doing this alone a lot is no less hard than him being away. Because I know he wants to help and be there. But this is our life. We both have to put our big boy/girl panties on and take care of business each day.
Normally we have a pretty thick skin, but it's been a rough month. Bub worked 23 days and the last week, Regan really took it out on me. Then he got home only to get called out 4 days later. And, he was placed on a boat and has been sea sick and miserable so far. I feel horrible and the comment came at really bad timing,in a very unsupportive way. But, I blogged, which helps me express me feelings and get them out. I know people don't always understand us. But sometimes a little more sensitivity would be nice!
And Heather, thanks for the shout out on your blog! That I know of, it's a first! :o)
And U.O.W., you always have such supportive comments, thanks! :o) And make sure you holler at me when yall decide to have kids and start down that road! I can probably be helpful! <3
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