Yesterday I made the trip to Green T to speak to someone about a few things. It was a week till everyone else started school and I had yet to find out when Regan's first day was. And on top of that I had SO many questions.
I think it ended up being maybe the Vice Principle I spoke to. She let me know when the orientation was, the day half the classes would go and then the official first day way. Well, she said "Tuesday will be their first full day and then they will go every day after that!". I got an instant lump in my throat, so big it almost choked me. And my eyes swelled with tears. I was fighting it back as hard as I could and then my little girls says " my momma doesn't want me to go to school!" I laughed and the lump got bigger!
Normally I would have cried in the car, but Regan would have probably made fun of me and then told everyone at playgroup that I cried because we visiting her new school! lol
Well since I got my dates for everything, I now knew that Thursday (today) was indeed Regan's official last day at her old "school". I bagged up the teacher's gifts and we bought a cookie cake to bring as a treat for the kids (I bailed out on making the cone cupcakes....I am a tired girl!).
When I dropped her off this morning we delivered the gifts to each of the teachers. When they asked why I said "today is Regan's last day", and here came that damn lump again. I couldn't even swallow anymore! It's sad when phases of our lives end like this! Nothing will be as it once was! Regan attended this daycare for over 3 years of her 5 year life. This is a huge part of her life and of mine!
You know I have been dreading this for over a year. When it was way too soon to be worrying about her starting school and all. I sometimes thought to myself, I will probably stress about it now and when the time comes we will all be ready and it won't even be a big deal! I also thought that by then I would be so ready for her to go I'd be counting down the days.
Well, the time has come and I'M NOT READY!!! I want to cry just writing about this!
I sometimes think if we had decided to have another child by now, the transition wouldn't be half this bad. But at the same time, I'm a mom and she is my baby and I hate change! Grrr!
I feel powerless because I want to have things the way they are for just a little while longer! I guess since I was able to make the decision to keep her out of Pre K, it feels like I should be able to do the same this time around. Unfortunately this isn't happening!
I should be happy for her. She is so very ready! I have never met a child who will wake up at 6 in the morning, turn on her TV, grab her workbook and sit on her bed and start writing letters and matching shapes and identifying patterns.......she is ready....
............me, not so much!
3 comments:
Awwww, that is so sweet. I can't wait to hear how you do after you drop her off the first day. I would like to tell you it gets better but I still get a very heavy heart every new year. Hugs
I am sure there will be one of these blogs before every year starts! lol
I was in your shoes last week when I registered the kids. I went check out where the Kindergarten classrooms were after filling out an hour's worth of paperwork. When I turned down the hall where the Kindergarten classrooms were, there was a familiar smell that rushed into me. I burst into tears and I felt as if I had been transported back to when I started school.
Post a Comment